Bob's Your Uncle
Music and lyrics by Canaan's Banana
Lyrics
- I'm a psychopath, my name is Bob Mugabe
- I'm the number one banana in Zimbabwe
- I haven't got a clue
- So I blame everything on you
- And the whiteys from London to Harare
- Bob's your uncle, Bob's your auntie, Bob's your mam and Bob's your dad
- Bob's the long-lost relative you never knew you had
- He's mean he's rude he's ugly and he's been there too long now
- He stole the last election and he's married to a cow
- PW's black brother he's the man that time forgot
- If ever he does any wrong it's all just a racist plot
- The father of the nation who abuses all his kids
- He took a wealthy country and he put it on the skids
- Down near the tip of Africa there's terror in the air
- A tinpot tyrant rules the roost, his country worse for wear
- Bob Gabriel Mugabe got a lot to answer for
- 'Cos he the presidential crook who can defy the law
- Nobody goes to work today, cos unemployment's rife
- Moyo lies, the press complies, Bob's president-for-life
- Of course he won't capitulate, of course he won't resign
- There's plenty diamonds in the Congo he still plans to mine
- Bob's your uncle, Bob's your auntie, Bob's your mam and Bob's your dad [ALL?]
- Bob chased away the farmers but he's really not that bad
- Who cares about economy or the famine or the war
- Bob say any time we like we come back we take more!
- Democracy Zimbabwe-style - oh what a wondrous thing
- Gaddafi pays our petrol bills, Mbeki lets us sing
- Bob cook the books, Bob steal the show, Bob make sure that he wins
- Some say that Bob the punishment for ALL Africa's sins
- Homophobia, megalomania, ignorance and cheek
- Hypocrisy, dishonesty, dictator of the week
- What human rights? What dignity? The dignity is mine!
- Play the game, do things my way, I'm sure we'll get on fine
- So what's this "quiet diplomacy"? How long must people weep
- It can't be right to let Bob run Zimbabwe in his sleep
- 'Cos, he's run it into ruin
- And he's run it into debt
- If only Bob Mugabe HADN'T run for president
- The lands would all be planted there'd be food upon the shelf
- (The UN AID that DOES arrive he keeps all to himself)
- We wouldn't have to queue for fuel, we'd all be pretty safe
- From ZANU thugs with bloodshot eyes from smoking too much skyf
- What brought him to our country someone throw the bastard out
- Perhaps a gay, white farmer could come give the clot a clout
- And when his days are over and they've locked him in the cell
- We'll bring out our next single - [MUGABE GO TO HELL!!]
- REPEAT to end line 4. Repeat line 4 again
- [Applause] - "So what's skyf, hey?" Laughter
- "Make it before the cops take it"